I Feel Off…Now What?

Photo by Raza Luz on Unsplash

It’s hard being in a place of discomfort. Sometimes that means realizing that we are “feeling the feelings” even when we don’t want to. Sometimes they creep up, even when we didn’t give them permission to do so. 

So, maybe you’re wondering what you can do about it. Try these three steps next time you’re feeling off. Remember, it’s not about being perfect—it’s about coming at it from a place of self-compassion. (So, if you end up just doing step 3, that’s okay).

Next time you’re feeling off (maybe you’re feeling judged, sad, anxious, nervous, or something else), try these three steps to give yourself some care.

Step 1: Ask yourself “what’s happening”

What’s happening for me right now? Am I sweaty? Teary? Tense? Light headed? Just take note of it.

This is helpful for you to start to tune into the present and become aware of what is going on in your body.

Step 2: Ask yourself “what am I feeling?

What am I feeling right now? Am I feeling afraid? Panicked? Lonely?

This helps you to become aware of what is going on for you in this moment.

Step 3: Ask yourself “what do I need right now?”

What do I need right now in this moment? Is it to sit outside, have some water, a donut, a hug, make guacamole, go for a walk, call a friend, have toast?

Filling this need is not a distraction. You aren’t avoiding your feelings by asking yourself what you need and then doing it. You are giving yourself what you need. You are tuning in and listening to your body. You’re giving yourself the care that you need right now, which is important for mindfulness and self-compassion. This is also helpful for building up your self-esteem, because you’re giving yourself what you need (which let’s be honest, can be really fricken hard sometimes). When you show up for yourself, you’re saying “Hey I got your back” which leads to that feeling of “I got this, I can do this”.

It’s normal to feel off sometimes and helpful to remind yourself that everyone goes through periods of that. You aren’t the only one. It can be helpful to slowly try to figure out what you need in those moments and then give it to yourself.

It’s okay (and important) to interrupt yourself in those moments when you feel overwhelmed. It’s okay to ask “Hey, what do I need right now to be okay?”. It’s okay to remind yourself “I’m just in a transitional situation. This isn’t going to last forever. How can I give myself some extra love today?”.