It isn’t all About Sex: How to Build Intimacy

Often, we overthink because it seems like we aren’t having enough sex. We “should” be doing this or we “should” be doing that. WELL, let’s throw that out the window because there are a billion ways to connect and build intimacy that don’t even involve being naked. Let’s be gentle with ourselves, slow down, and tune into those intimate moments.

Some ideas to get started:

1. Cuddling. Taking time to cuddle without the pressure of sex can be a very intimate and loving activity.

2.  Sharing the best part and worst part of your week.

3. Giving each other that “look” when someone is talking or when you’re watching a certain movie scene.

 4. Reading a book or poem out loud together before bedtime. Pick out a book together at the library. Take turns reading out loud.

 5. Having inside jokes.

 6. Having a pillow fight. Yeah sure, we see it in movies, but now it’s time to do it for real.

 7. Holding hands. Try it on a walk, at the mall, in the movie theatre, and at home.

 8. Having a bubble bath together. Light some candles, grab some bath toys, put on some music, schedule it into your calendar, and make it happen. This can even be done in your bathing suit. Have a “no sex” rule if you’re feeling anxious. You’re there to just relax and connect.

 9. Rubbing each other’s back. Draw on each other’s back and guess what the person drew.

 10. Laughing together.

 11. Trying something new together. Building new memories and connection. It can be anything—pick something silly and try it out.

 12. Having a date without phones. Leave your phones at home and try it out.

 13. Grabbing each other’s butts. Or arm. Or a gentle touch.

 14. Sitting in a hot tub or sauna together. The heat, the sweat, the bonding.

 15. Building a blanket fort. Add some pretty string lights and romantic snacks. Lie there and talk about something you’re looking forward to or a dream vacation you want to do together.

16. Reminiscing on how you first met and your first date together. What were your first impressions of each other?

17. Sharing special moments together and celebrating achievements. Creating birthday rituals together and ways to celebrate wins at work or at the gym. Maybe after a big presentation going to get a cinnamon bun together to talk and celebrate.

 

What are your favourite ways to connect and build intimacy?