Getting Started with Self-Compassion

Photo by Estée Janssens on Unsplash

Self-compassion isn’t always easy, but it is important.

Did you know that it is easier to change when coming from a place of self-compassion rather than self-criticism? It can be hard to move from a place of self-criticism to self-compassion so I compiled these strategies to help you get started.

Strategy 1

Think of something that is self-compassionate that y0u can tell yourself right now? It can be small or it can be big. What comes to mind? Maybe try saying to y0urself “I am enough” or “I am doing my best” or “it’s okay to take breaks”. It’s okay if you don’t fully 100% believe it just yet, the first step is to just say it to yourself.

Strategy 2

Do you ever find that you are a lot more compassionate toward your friends than to yourself ? Have you ever said things to yourself that you would never say to a friend? You aren’t alone. Often, it can feel tough to extend that same kindness to ourselves.

For this strategy: next time you find yourself being hard on yourself, stop, and ask yourself what you would say to a friend in the exact same situation. Then, say it to yourself. Chances are it is going to be something pretty kind and compassionate.

Strategy 3

Stop saying “should”. Okay that one sounds a little weird and a little simple. However, it has the power to make a big impact. Sometimes when we keep telling ourselves “I should have done this, I should have done that”, we are indicating to ourselves that what we did do wasn’t enough. And that can be pretty discouraging. Over time we might start to feel like anything we do isn’t good enough. So, to re-frame those thoughts: 1) notice when you say “should” and 2) try replacing it with something else. For instance, next time you think “I should have done more today” try replacing it with “I rested and listened to my body” or “I did my best today”.

Remember learning to be self-compassionate is a skill and takes time. It’s okay to get it wrong and keep trying.